The Algorithm in Your Head

Your thoughts are contributing to the experiences you are noticing in your life. In personal development arenas, this is referred to as the law of attraction, or stated another way: “what you think about, you bring about.” This may sound oversimplified, but I assure you, if you take a moment to think it through, you will discover the wisdom in it.

As you examine your thoughts and discover that you have anxious thoughts around finances, you’ll also find yourself noticing opportunities to be anxious over finances. The car may need a repair, or the refrigerator goes on the fritz, or a bill you weren’t expecting — or had forgotten all about — arrives in the mail. These instances become prevalent in your thoughts, while other experiences that contradict the anxious thoughts go unnoticed. Does this sound familiar?

Maybe it wasn’t finances. Maybe it was thoughts like “I’m not enough.” I’m not smart enough. I never got the degree. I don’t have the letters after my name. I never get chosen for the role or the raise.

Your brain has a filter

Our thoughts — and what we repeatedly allow ourselves to think about — direct our brain’s attention toward what matters to us. Your brain is the most amazing and complex machinery you can imagine, and it has systems that are constantly filtering enormous amounts of information and influencing what deserves your attention. One of those systems is the reticular activating system, or RAS. The RAS helps regulate our alertness and attention. Together, these systems essentially determine what gets our attention and what fades into the background.

But there is something even bigger happening. Our brains use what we have experienced, learned, and come to believe to help us interpret what we see around us. Scientists sometimes describe this through concepts like predictive processing, selective attention, and confirmation bias.

Simply put, your brain is constantly asking: What should I pay attention to? What does this mean? Does this fit with what I already know? Because of that, what you repeatedly think about and believe influences what you notice, how you interpret what happens, and ultimately how you respond.

When something happens that agrees with an existing belief, your brain recognizes that consistency. See? What I think is true. And every time that happens, the belief becomes a little easier to believe again.

The algorithm in your head

Think about your brain a little like the algorithm on social media. If you start watching videos about a certain subject — liking them, commenting on them, following people who talk about it — what happens? You start seeing more of it.

It doesn’t necessarily mean there is suddenly more of that content in the world. The algorithm has simply learned that this is important to you, so it pays attention to it. Your brain does something similar. Your beliefs, expectations, experiences, and repeated thoughts influence your brain, which then helps determine what gets your attention and what fades into the background. So in a sense, every time you repeatedly focus on something, you are signaling to your brain, “this is what’s important to me.” And your brain gets better at noticing it.

If you believe, “nobody respects me,” you may become especially sensitive to comments, facial expressions, or interactions that seem to confirm it — while overlooking the ten interactions that don’t. And here is the good news: if you want to change that thought, you can. And it’s not an extremely difficult process.

The tale of two wolves

There is a story, commonly attributed to Native American culture, about the Tale of Two Wolves. Whether the attribution is correct or not, the story is a helpful allegory: feed what you want, and starve what you don’t. The story goes like this:

A grandfather tells his grandson that everyone has within them two wolves who want to control his life. One wolf is everything good, kind, abundant, and powerful. The other wolf is destructive, cruel, vengeful, and manipulative. The grandson asks, “Which wolf wins?” The grandfather answers: “The one you feed.”

This brings me back to the statement I made earlier about the thoughts you allow yourself to think about. You don’t always choose the first thought that enters your mind, but you can learn to choose which thoughts you continue rehearsing, reinforcing, and building your life around. Using the analogy of the wolves: the thoughts you feed will live, and the thoughts you starve will fade.

If you continually feed thoughts of fear, lack, not being enough, or other limiting beliefs about yourself, your attention can become increasingly tuned to information that supports those beliefs. Your brain will begin to operate, like the algorithm of social media, to filter for experiences and thoughts that support your chosen path of thinking. And you may also become less likely to notice the experiences that would contradict that belief.

It truly is a choice

What is so amazing is that it truly is a CHOICE. I learned from David Bayer and his work around “A Changed Mind” and “The Whole Human Framework” that you can make a decision for a new thought. He calls his framework for this “The Decision Matrix,” and it is a powerful tool to help you choose new, empowering thoughts and begin to find new evidence to support the new belief.

The Bible also shows us our own power to change our mind:

…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
— 2 Corinthians 10:5

In other words, if you are having thoughts that don’t honor God or yourself, you don’t have to accept every thought that enters your mind as truth. You can examine it, reject what doesn’t align with truth, and intentionally redirect your thinking.

Feed the new thought

To empower your new thought, feed it with supporting truth, images, music, and experiences intentionally chosen to support the powerful belief. Simultaneously starve the thought you no longer wish to allow in your mind.

I like to interrupt negative thoughts by saying out loud, “Stop,” when one pops up. Alternatively, you could catch the thought with “There’s that old thought again.” Then I replace the old thought with a new, empowered thought. I stop feeding the old thought with social media, people, and imagery that keep me in that frame of thinking. Instead, I surround myself with supportive people, experiences, and imagery to support my beautiful new decision.

You get to decide. You “feed” the thoughts you want, and you “starve” the ones you don’t.

Awareness is the upper hand

Here is one more important detail: this filtering is taking place in your brain all the time, whether you acknowledge it or not. You can allow it to happen unconsciously, or you can become aware of it and become intentional about the thoughts you choose to feed. So many people, unaware of their own thoughts and the power to change them, stay stuck in negative thought patterns that don’t support vision or powerful living.

Becoming aware of your power to choose your thoughts — and how to support them — gives you an upper hand in life. You become empowered to co-create your life from a place of decision. You get to decide the beliefs and thoughts you want to have, and thus become the person who thinks the thoughts you choose, not the ones that pop up, are handed down, or are imposed by the world around you.

So, sweet friends, choose amazing, abundant, peaceful thoughts — full of joy and life and a beautiful future. And if you need a guide, I’d be honored to be with you on the journey.

Love,
Marcy