Change How You See Yourself, Change Your Future

If you suddenly realized you were capable of something you always thought was beyond you, would you behave differently?

There's a great story Trevor Moawad shares that illustrates exactly that.

A student promises his mom he'll take the SAT. She is a single mom, and he is not a good student. He's part of the crowd that's skipping classes and overall not succeeding in school. But he sits for the SAT anyway and scores a 1480!

For those who don't know, the SAT is a standardized test used to assess students entering college. At that time, there were two parts, math and verbal, each worth 800 points. A 1480 is an exceptionally high score. That's the kind of score you might expect from a top-performing student, not someone failing and skipping class. His mom is shocked and asks him if he cheated. He had tried, but the seating arrangement made it impossible.

The student is also shocked by his score and asks himself, "What does a person who scores a 1480 do?" He changes his behavior based on what he believes someone with a score of 1480 would do, attending class and completing assignments.

He graduates high school, goes on to community college, then a four-year college, and eventually earns an MBA from an Ivy League school. The story isn't over, though. Twelve years later, he receives a letter from the SAT board in Princeton notifying him that he was one of 13 students who received the wrong score. His actual score was a 740.

The real story isn't that he was an undercover genius. It's that he began to see himself differently, and his behavior changed to align with that new belief.

He didn't wait until he became a successful student to start behaving like one. He began making different choices because he believed he already had the capacity to succeed.

This is a powerful representation of how our beliefs about ourselves inform our thoughts and ultimately our actions. If I believe I am capable, kind, successful, abundant, I'm likely to behave in a manner consistent with those beliefs by trying new things, showing compassion, and being generous.

Perhaps I find myself feeling a certain way: unhappy, not content with my level of success, anxious about finances, or stressed in relationships. When these feelings arise, I often attempt to change them by changing external circumstances.

I'm anxious about finances, so I get a second job. I'm stressed in relationships, so I avoid interaction with certain people.

Those practical changes can be necessary and helpful. But they may not, on their own, change the beliefs I carry about myself. Working more hours or avoiding certain people doesn't necessarily bring relief from the way my nervous system and emotions are responding.

A familiar saying captures this idea:

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

In other words, sometimes changing my circumstances isn't enough. I also need to examine the thinking and beliefs I'm bringing into those circumstances.

Like the student from the SAT story, the change began inside with the question, "How does someone who scores a 1480 behave?" The external choices then aligned with the internal decision.

For me, inspired action is born from within, from our identity. You've most likely heard me say this phrase, "This is who I am, so this is what I do." My actions flow out of my identity.

Rather than looking for something outside myself to make me happy, I choose to see myself as someone who lives with joy. I make choices from who I am. Sometimes that's eating ice cream, and sometimes that's humming a little tune, smiling for no reason, or sitting with my face toward the sun.

It's a simplified example, but the same applies to other belief about who we are.

I am abundant, so I feel free to share my blessings with others. I gave away a necklace I was wearing because someone admired it. I give to organizations caring for the homeless, and I sponsor a child through World Vision.

I am a leader, so I share information that has transformed my life so others can experience transformation. I lead small groups and retreats, and I speak to churches and groups.

Last week I wrote to you about the threshold of deservingness, how beliefs about yourself may limit you. This week, I'm inviting you to think through your beliefs about yourself and begin making some internal changes.

There's a lot we can do to support those internal changes, but for now, start here. Decide what you want to believe about yourself, and write it down.

Ask yourself, "If I truly believed this about myself, what would I do differently today?" Then begin making those choices, even if they feel unfamiliar at first. Every choice that aligns with your new identity gives you another reason to believe it's true.

Start taking steps toward the person you've always wanted to be.

Love,
Marcy